Thoughts on parenting

I love that my husband noticed this posted in the basement of our church. As new parents we want so strongly to do everything we can to help Toria live her best life. I think if we use as many of these as often as we can... we just might find ourselves on track.

Time to have a baby!

The last picture of me before life changed... for the better of course. Tuesday May 18th was a difficult day for me. I was at work and unusually tired. Really very very tired. I managed the day but not very productively. I went straight to bed when I got home and think I was asleep before I hit the pillow. An hour later I woke to my water breaking. I was at a loss. In a sleepy daze I called Jay to see how far from home he was. I then called the hospital and had to admit to not remembering a single tidbit of information learnt in the prenatal class the previous Saturday. Not a single thing. They advised I make my own way in and have Jay meet me there. With the help of Glen, still in OPP uniform I was at the hospital in comfortable time.

Kiwee was still breach and in fact had broken the water with her foot. She had a little note attached to her big toe. It said "Prep the O.R. it's time." At 8:49 we met our Toria Day MacLaurin. She was 6lbs 1oz and as sweet as sweet could be. She quieted to our voices telling her she was ok. After 4 nights in hospital we came home and got settled. We've felt great since and have made it out of the house every day. She gained weight and at 5 weeks weighed 7lbs 14.5oz.

Love love love love love!

Here she is!

With a hand in her mouth she flutters around looking as cute as can be.

Swoony

Swoony: A partial or total loss of consciousness. A state of bewilderment or Ecstasy.

Rapture: An expression or manifestation of ecstasy or passion. A state or experience of being carried away by overwhelming emotion. A mystical experience in which the spirit is exalted to a knowledge of divine things.

When enquiring with a dear friend if she had book three and four for lending she replied... "welcome to the cougar club." ... Thanks I said.

Getting there!

You're making your way to us and it appears you're doing just fine. You have a hand tucked behind your head demonstrating how easy it's been so far. Keep up the good work but know you have a long way to come baby! We've got our fingers crossed and are saying our prayers.

Autumn 2009

Here we are with young Max who is now two years old. He's a busy little guy who can't get enough of exploring the outdoors. Even for a split second to pose for a picture his attention is drawn to where he plans to go next.

Out of the past

Out of nowhere a good friend of mine sent a photo to Kerri and I. She'd taken it sometime ago but not developed it until now. I'm glad she did. I love this photo. Not just cause we look skinny and good but because it reminds me of younger happy days. This is Kerri and I when we were young and single. With her third child due in January and my first 13 weeks along... life is so different now. Not in a bad way, just... in a different way.

My exciting purchase

Each Saturday this summer I headed out with friends searching for great deals. We'd spend a few hours in the morning driving and searching through yard sales in our neighbourhood. I hadn't expected to run into the perfect solution for the indented wall off the kitchen. But there it was. And it was ten bucks!

It's added that little extra bit of space to the kitchen. It's ideal and looks great. Did I mention I paid $10 bucks for it!

My loving parents

Lots of people live far from their loved ones. It's not easy. Especially when they have a hard year. You want to be there for them and look after them. Work, life and eight or so hours of travel keep you away except for maybe twice a year, sometimes only once.

I wish I was there mom. If only in time to help you back into your skates. I wish I was there. Good choice in colour by the way. : ) I love you!

And there you are

I woke that morning, from the wrong side of the bed. I wondered to myself several times why I was feeling the way I was. Twice I stopped, took a breath and intentionally changed my thought pattern to try and improve how I was feeling. It wasn't until 9:05 that I realised it was a mild case of unconscious anxiety I'd come down with that morning. 9:05 was the moment my condition lifted. It was the moment I heard what I didn't even realise I feared not hearing... your heart beat.

Expecting the much anticipated expected

You're no longer just a thought, a wish, a hope for. Unyet you're not exactly a tangible yet either. You're in between, making your way to us. It's been two weeks that we've known of you Kiwee. Known of you, talked about you, thought about you, giggled about you, prayed for you. You've put an extra step in our walk and we thank you for it.

My heartbeat has quickened and my body is working hard to produce the extra blood to catch up with it. I feel heavier even though you alone have added no weight. I've slowed to a walk but am more diligent on getting it in. I love, day to day, differently then I did. Just a subtle and slight difference. Just a little more fully. I love just a little more fully.

An update blog

He did it! At the old house I had stored the canoe hanging from the ceiling of the garage. Today Jay rigged our new house for the same and voila... room to move around in the garage. Thanks Jay.

Now for my part. This Saturday I'll be having a garage sale to get rid of a bunch of stuff we no longer use. I had promised him I'd do this within a few weeks of moving in. It's been just shy of three months so it's certainly time. If anyone has anything they want to sell... come on over.

It was a lovely long weekend Monday. While he hung the boat I planted myself on the front lawn and pulled weeds. It's a tedious job and my right hand has the cramps to prove it. But I wouldn't reverse the ban on lawn care chemicals for anything. I'd rather spend the time pulling those weeds then have the carcinogen related death toll continue off the radar. It sounds noble but I have to admit I was a little disappointed when Jay checked and found, no, we could not cross over into Quebec and buy some. But then I came to my senses. They're banned for a reason and I support the decision... even if my hand hurts! A lot!

An update blog

We had a lovely morning. It's always a lovely morning when we're out for breakfast. Even better if we score the company of people we like to see. Jay did some multitasking and got in a work out while waiting for the order to come. We then headed to Home Depot and on to IKEA to scout out ideas for the addition to the kitchen. I know what you're thinking... they just bought a new house with a beautiful new kitchen. Just wait and see what we're planning. It should be wonderful if we can pull it together. The dollars that is!

Yesterday makes two successful Saturday's in a row... at yard sale'ing. A hobby that came about last summer when I joined Angela and Kristi on their early morning runs through the neighbourhood. It's kinda fun. Last sat I found two solid wood, round end tables which I'm hoping will be beautiful as night side tables once they're lacquered in antique white. For $8 I was kinda tickled. Yesterday I found four loungers for the front porch. I'd been looking at benches but for $10 for all four chairs, I feel very comfortably held over until I find them.

The morning was wrapped up by 11 and we headed out to see if we could find our neighbours at the Glengarry Highland games. We didn't, but we sure had a beautiful day trying. We stuck to our usual routine. Opening Mass bands and noon followed by grade 2 and grade 1 bands and then off for some more mass bands in the closing ceremony. Very tame.

Happy long weekend! Here's hoping our friends are having a fantastic time at Ol'Forge in NY.

A writer's blog

And then, I had a delightful thought. I acted on it. I popped the blueberry into the hole of the raspberry. I took in the wonder of the colours for just a moment before eating. I think of all those many years ago when I was maybe six and I had done the same thing. I was out under the sun with my bare feet on soft green grass. Open air. I had been told I'd made a mess with the berries, and a cloth was gently, lovingly run over my face. Today I steal this moment between pressing tasks, with my feet in pretty sandals under my desk. I can recall the moment, so many years ago. I can bring it to me. Right here in my tiny, four, clothed beige walls. The taste alone didn't do it. Not until one berry was placed inside the other. It all came back.

The spending challenge... no spending

I came across this story, just before shutting my laptop down and getting on with my day. For some reason I kept recalling it and mulling it over. Could I contain myself for a whole year and spend only what is necessary on food and basics?

http://www.cbc.ca/video/popup_nlp.html?http://www.cbc.ca/mrl3/8752/news/features/dunn-nospend-081226.wmv

Could I? I'm certainly intrigued as I consider it. It raises a tricky question for me. What does money and spending mean to me? As I contemplate the answer I then wonder... have I really fallen into the cliche where I've somehow tied money to feelings of self worth? I've used a mantra for a while now relating to money and not spending what I don't have. Since starting with it I have a new washer and dryer, a new house and just last week a new snow blower. This week... a new crock pot. The more I think about it the less I feel intrigued and instead feel fearfully compelled to take this challenge on. I have nothing to lose and lot to gain by such an adventure. (this is me talking myself into it)

But am I up for it? I want to be. I want to be rid of the pangs of disappointment I feel with myself as I consume. (the consumption tax) I don't want to be a "consumer". I wanna be real about this challenge and so I think I'll consider it a 6 month challenge. I take some relief in knowing I have a whopping $400 plus in gift certificates in my wallet.

As my ever supportive and enthusiastic husband and I discuss the rules of how this will play out I'm unwittingly trying to figure out if there is anything I need before I start. I may not feel up to the challenge but I definitely need it!

A lesson from Weatherwood

Six months till moving day. Six long months.

Sometimes I indulge and let the excitement of our first home creep to the front of my thoughts and take over. I play with colours and furniture arrangements. I lay out my garden and think about landscaping. Other times I push the thoughts and excitement away thinking I'll surely be exhausted by it all by the time we step into it.

I'll obviously miss Weatherwood. The trees, space and privacy are charming. The memories here are long-standing, 22 years to be exact. I've grown up here and found what was short in my life previously, roots. Moving every two to three years as a kid was fine with me until I found what had been missing... home. Weatherwood was home. Course I didn't know it at the time. In all the years I've been here it's kinda been temporary. Oddly enough in the months to come I'll be nesting and improving things in order to show and sell it.

If I had it all to do over again I would nest from the start. My evanescence at Weatherwood is regrettable but will be a valuable lesson for the future.