There was something different...

So here is my thought. My husband’s parents have just returned from a trip to China where they toured around and picked up lovely gifts for us. They have always been very thoughtful and generous and I feel truly blessed to have married into their family. They have taken the time and effort to get to know me and are able to pick gifts I’m thrilled to receive.

Today I’ve worn my newly gifted bracelets to work and have noticed them several times with the warm happy contented feeling you get from wearing something new and lovely. I felt this way with the bracelet she recently brought me from Australia. As I hold it I think about how far it has come to be on my wrist. It holds a mystique about it. I don’t have anything else from Australia that I’m aware of or that was brought from there specifically for me. While the beautiful jade bracelet from China has this going for it, something is missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it… but then it came to me. I lifted up the beautiful mug I keep on my desk… it’s also from China. It is likely that 70% of everything I own comes from the same place as my beautiful jade bracelet. Of course the difference is that someone I love went there and picked it for me. But you get my point I’m sure.

It's about one word... Health!

I've always been relatively fit and healthy.  I was a picky eater as a kid, until I was enrolled in a british "old school" boarding school. You had no choice but to eat what was put in front of you.  Rubbard stew with custard... so gross!  I went from perhaps scrawny to a more ideal weight.  But it was in my third year "over there" and in my second school that I took up running.  I was dragged out of bed by a dorm mate (and life important friend) at ridiculously early hours of the day to go running.  We ran (with me often in my pyjamas) the grounds of Westonbirt school which were breath taking.  The grounds were an extension of the Westonbirt National Arboretum,  and I truly believe were magical in soul building.  While I couldn't have gotten out of bed at that hour without being forced by Susie, I did spend my days in class breathing the energy and sound grounding the morning runs gave me.  The physical Victorian landscape with it's quiet, soft, endless green, and fresh, often foggy air somehow embodied the physical effects that I benefited from.  It really was as if those strong beautiful old trees were passing on their rooted and statured strength to me throughout my school days.

I didn't run again until my late twenties. I was now back in Canada and in the work force and found myself in my beige cubicle down town Ottawa.  I wasn't running but I was active with sport and eating fairly healthy.  I had a friend whom I wanted to help through some turmoil she was working through and remembered the benefits I'd found from tagging (being dragged) along with Susie.  So I found a learn to run 10 k class and sure enough she was game to join me.  Running was back in my life and again for a short while it was a beautiful thing while it lasted.

We all know life is busy.  It can be a juggle.  I can't juggle.  I repeat... I can't juggle.  I've had to consciously learn to relax and be happy with just doing my best, doing what I can and being satisfied with the results.  But I'm not good at that either, and good thing for it.  I don't want to be complacent when it comes to my health.  I've had three people come into my life in the past 6 years and they mean everything to me.  They need and depend on me, as I do them, but selfishly I just want to be with them as long as this life time will let me.  It's never been more apparent to me then now that my health matters.  I feel very fortunate to have come from the family I did.  They promoted healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle as they knew best,  and set the foundation making it easier for me to continue on this path with focus and determination.

In my new found interest in health though, it's that same friend who joined me in that learn to run 10 k class that has paid it forward in a big way.  I believe it was the heart crippling loss of her just 59 year old father a few years back that eventually moved her towards a stronger focus on health.  As I am, she is also motivated by having a house full of loved ones including three young children.  Her focus was healthy eating which initially led her to cut down on meat and dairy and eventually turn towards eating and living a whole foods plant based diet.  The effects are noticeable.  Paying this forward however is not something you can outrightly do.  I believe she knew this.  Her changes were simple and subtle and caught my attention.  Without over sharing she simply responded to my questions.  The journey this has set me on is wonderful.

But it's a journey.  It's a transition.  I've been devouring books and movies and lectures and videos for months now and still I'm learning and moving forward.  And really, I was already well versed on healthy eating.  But there is so much to this journey that I'd never encountered!  I'm excited that I will be able to establish what I'm learning into my girls from a young age.  The troubling part for me is that although I'm constantly hungry for more information, I'm too busy to give it the time I'd like.  I'm working full time at multiple full time jobs!!  The kids, the house, the desk in the beige cubicle.  There aren't enough hours in the day to satiate my current interest in my health.  But!... it's coming along and with an ever loving and supportive husband, I'm feeling the benefits and wishing I had started this journey long ago when I had more time to devote to it.

We all have a moment like that. Right?

We've all experience that moment in life when... we heard the record scratch and the music stop followed by the sound of crickets... right?  The one we look back on and say, how could I have been caught so off guard?

I was going through a bit of a cultural reintegration having just moved back to Canada after spending three years in England.  We moved home just in time for me to start high school.  Co-ed high school.  The use of the word co-ed seems a bit odd to me now but I'd just spent two years in an old boys preparatory school which at times proved to be run as if in the dark ages (one that warrants its own blog entirely), and one year in one of the more posh all girls schools in England.  Co-ed high school was a very big deal.  To make things a little more tricky at an already tricky age to maneuver, I managed to pick up a bit of an accent.  Now... having an accent is fine... unless you have no business having it.  Having only been gone three years, I felt, I had no business having it and felt odd and awkward.

It was terrible walking into a new school all by yourself and figuring out where you were going.  This was compounded by so many factors.  I'd been wearing a uniform for three critical years and had no concept of what constituted cool clothing that I felt comfortable in.  I knew no one, and everyone else had graduated at one school or another with their buddies and were happy to reunite here in an exciting moment... the first day of high school!  And... there were boys.  Something I hadn't had to contend with for three whole terms at Westonbirt.  Not that schooling with all girls didn't have it's own challenges but the opposite gender at the age of 14 (back when I was 14), brought on a level of insecurity that was... uncomfortable.

But after the first day I'd found a few peeps to pad myself with and I quickly set about getting as comfortable as I could in my new world.  It was these same peeps who stood beside me as I experienced that moment I wish wish wish I could have a replay on.  

I followed the lead as my new peeps set about getting us ready for the first school dance.  I hadn't really thought about what to expect.  We put so much energy into getting ready I hadn't thought ahead to what a school dance entailed.  I was going.  I was following along.  Once there I found myself in a dark lunch cafeteria where we plunked ourselves down and started people watching. This seemed to be what it was all about.  There was music but no one was dancing.  We were all grouped with our peeps chatting about... I can't remember what.  And then we were up and heading to get a drink from the other side of the room.  On the way back... it happened.  We were approached by a guy and (OMG) he asked me to dance.  Me.  Suddenly I wasn't standing with my peeps.  They kept moving, I think.  My brain stopped processing and I had a question to answer.  I had to speak.  He'd moved towards us from his peeps, all by himself, and approached me, and asked me to dance.  To which I replied... wait for it... "I just bought a coke".  It seems to me his head tilted down and I simply can't remember the rest.  I returned to my peeps and sat down.  They seemed both excited and disappointed with me at the same time.  How had I not seen this coming and been ready?  How had I not expected that I might be asked to dance... at a dance?  How had I gone and put myself in this position?

I simply wasn't ready to dance.  But oh... how I wish I had danced.  I wish I had smiled.  I wish I had thanked him for asking me.  I wish I had been ready.  I wish I had been ready to make him feel wonderful for taking that bold move.  (Don't go there, that's not what I meant and you know it.)  And when he sent friends to me in the weeks ahead to try and figure out if he should ask me out, I wish, I so wish I'd been ready to say... I'd love to get to know him... send him over.

Green! It does the mind and body good!

Whether your efforts take you to a leaner body by eating clean or to your knees in your garden as you achieve the coveted beautiful flowers or freshly grown food or one of our many provincial parks for some soul building hiking... it's all about the green!  I see green as I put my almost empty garbage bin to the curb next to my full recycle bins.  I see green as my eyes follow the pavement in front of me on my runs.  I see green as I book and plan our camping retreats for this summer.  I see green each time a great question is posted on my community service site by a new mother and the other members all rush in with fantastic and supportive suggestions to help.  I see green when I'm on my knees pulling weeds from my front lawn by hand so it is safe for my girls to play on.  I see green every time I manage to put a vegan dinner on the table.  I see green when I post a blog.

Green!  It's what turns me on, tunes me up and keeps me well.  A dear friend of mine has managed to bring this to my attention.  Since getting married, buying a house and delivering two beautiful baby girls I've found myself focused on making the day to day work as efficiently as possible, allowing us time to get out there and enjoy life.  I'll be honest... I find it difficult.  The balance has not been there.  I've learnt that throwing myself into laundry and meal prep and de-cluttering the house and finding and having all the best toys doesn't work unless I've also got a solid dose of green.  I've been spending too much time away from all things green.  I'm determined to refuel on what I know to be my perfect medicine.

There's an awful lot to my "green" fuel.  I plan to make it my focus over the coming months.  Brining it back into my day to day life.  Stay tuned.

Sisters

My wish is for you to love, support and be there for each other.  I'll do everything I can to foster this but I realize its ultimately up to you.  I was concerned I didn't have very many pictures of you both together... here is what I found.  Not to bad considering how busy your dad and I feel these days.

This was taken by photographer Annie Brien of Lola June Photography.  It was the second time I'd put you in matching outfits.  It was a wet miserable day which often makes for great outdoor photography.

Here are a few of you two just hanging out, being perfect angels while I put dinner together.  Brooke Ella... no one can get you to giggle and laugh out loud the way your big sister can.  She figured out that you find it funny when she falls or trips... and has thrown herself around this living room countless times to entertain you.  If that's not love I don't know what is.

 We strive to be a healthy and active family.  It's important to your dad and I that you are both well connected to the outdoors.  It seemed to me growing up that my mother believed fresh air, sunshine and exercise could cure anything.  I think she's one smart lady.  As soon as you're ready my little loves you will know and continue to know team sport, a solo practice of some kind, family camping adventures and have an appreciation for quiet down time.

You met Mr. and Mrs. Claus this year at city hall.  We started with the shorter line to see Mrs. Claus.  Your meeting with her went well and so your father and I agreed to get in line to see the big guy.  All through the one hour lineup you were keen to meet him.  I kept showing you where he was and how we were getting closer to our turn.  Your enthusiasm had us encouraged and happy to wait despite how long it would be.  You guessed it... as soon as it was our turn... you turned on him.  I could hear your inner dialogue change from "YEAY Santa!" to "what the HELL was I thinking!?  Get me away from this strange scary man!!"  Thanks Toria for ensuring your dad and I got to experience the traditional first visit with Santa.  Despite your terror we had lots of fun.  Sorry love.

This Christmas we had a lovely dinner with your dad's parents and then headed out to Phoenix Arizona to spend two weeks with my parents.  I was quite ill during our visit so I've forgiven myself for not getting some family pictures with them while there.  We did try however to get a few of you two in your Christmas dresses given to you by your Aunt Amanda.  They were beautiful tartan dresses in keeping with the tradition of your first two Christmases Toria.