The moments you remember... forever!

We're heading to Cape Cod for vacation this year.  Jay and I are tense as we try to get our desk clear for a two week period away.  It's going be heavenly.  Two whole weeks of family time.  The coveted family time.  I remember driving the east coast line through the upper states when I was a teen.  I'd been invited to join a family trip of a dear friend of mine.  It holds some of my favourite memories.  It was exciting to join another family on their trip.  I knew I was lucky to be going with them.  We bought our first snowboards together on that trip.  Well... they bought it for me and I got my first job when I got home in order to pay for it.  The Burton Cruize!  Love love love...  That's another blog entry unto itself.  But the trip was full of moments like that.  And this... The mom was watching out the window and taking in the beauty of the river along the drive.  "Go back Don... Go back" she said.  Down to the river edge we went in our bathing suits... into the fridgid cold water and then... we floated.  We floated for what seemed like forever.  Down the river.  Round the bend and on.  Bob bob bobalong the river we went on our backs.  Our eyes squinting from the sun above and our ears listening to the water flow beneath.  Memories.  What wonderful memories.  And the learning that comes from moments like this.  I sit healthy in my beige cubicle because of moments like this.

The past present and future

Blogs are interesting aren't they.  You share.  You share this about that and as you do you think about not only who is reading but when might they read it.  I suspect I might read some of these entrees years from now.  I suspect my daughter might.  I wish my grandfather had left a blog.  I've never met him but for some reason feel a connection to him.  I've seen a little cabin on a lake he used to escape to and go fishing.  I've seen the blue spruce he planted in front of what was a new home to him and his family... and yesterday at lunch I walked to and stood in front of the home he lived in before that new home was built.  I stood and looked.  I looked at the brick and the stone base and big beautiful old tree in the front yard.  I stood on the front step and looked out onto the street.  I walked to the street corner and imagined my mom as a little girl looking across the street she wasn't aloud to cross alone.  I can't quit express what was going on... I just took it in.  Simply took it in and tried to imagine.  I think my great grandparents had been with them for a short time in that house too.  I have a concept of them also.  I wish I could know them more.  I've driven slowly by their old home in old Ottawa.  I was driving in the procession of cars on our way to burry their youngest daughter.  She was the last of that family to leave us.  The closing of an era.  I treasure the past.  I've always been one to do that.  I absorb it and keep it with me.  I go to these places and of course they're not there.  But in way... they are... or are they just with me...  I took a second pause when I first considered buying the home I'm in now... because there was a blue spruce on the front lawn. 

The things you can't capture

I capture so many of your little moments, my love.  I click and record and post and paste and print and hang.  You fill me up with a level of joy I've never felt before.  But this morning you out did yourself and as you did I realised there was no way to capture it or the sheer delight I felt from watching you.  Your Dada and I had made our way halfway up the basement stairs after a leisurely Saturday morning of play in your playroom.  We'd stopped halfway because we know how much you enjoy hanging upside down while seeing yourself in the big mirror that is there.  Just when I was sure you were going to make yourself sick with dizziness you toddled up the remaining step to the landing to the front hall.  With Dada and I perched on the top step discussing our pending family vacation you toddled over and stood before us.  Da! you said with outstretched hands in the form of a question.  Yes my love? I asked with a smile.  Da! you said and with that you crouch down very slowly and gently leaned your forehead towards my mouth stealing a kiss.  You stood with satisfaction and looked at your Dada... and did the same to him.  Again, back and forth you collected kiss after kiss.  And... I love you so.  I just couldn't love you more.